Peter’s other crusaders, not so keen on Jewish jabby jabby, headed to Constantinople for a chat with the Byzantine Emperor. Then they swung by Nicaea, famous for that big Christian meeting back in 325. The French troops went first, sadly showing off their top-notch savagery skills, even roasting babies. Meanwhile, the Germans tried their luck at a castle, but ended up desperately thirsty and surrendering. Back at camp, the French heard rumors, panicked, and walked right into a Turkish ambush. Let’s just say it didn’t end well. Peter was MIA, and the People’s Crusade turned into a total disaster. Lesson learned: faith alone doesn’t cut it in war.

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